* The Oscars were Sunday night and it pretty much went exactly how everyone thought it’d go: Boring, predictable and painfully long. The only thing I predicted wrong was Best Director, who I admitted I had no idea would win, but if I had a gun to my head, I would have said David Fincher (The Social Network.) The other five major awards (Picture, Actor, Actress and the two supporting roles), I — along with the rest of the country — predicted right. Sorry I wasn’t on the edge of my seat when they were televising the Best Achievement in Sound award or stood up and clapped along when Randy Newman was doing whatever it was he was doing on stage.

Hosts James Franco couldn’t have looked more disinterested (or more stoned) and Anne Hathaway was like a giddy 7-year-old girl hopped up on Kool-Aid about to go on her first roller coaster ride. Say what you will about Dane Cook, but his tweet Sunday night during the Oscars summed up Franco perfectly, “Franco hosting looks like a security guard who doesn’t care if you’re stealing.” Speaking of stealing, the Oscars stole three and a half hours out of all of our lives that we’ll never be able to get back.

* Speaking of stoned, it’s Thursday and Charlie Sheen is still out of his mind. So much so, that his publicist (he had a publicist???) Stan Rosenfield “respectfully resigned” on Monday. Has anyone ever disrespectfully resigned? Perhaps Sheen can now go after LeBron James public relations team and Sheen can film a “decision” segment every Friday night to tell the world what his plans are for the night. I’d definitely watch that. Speaking of watching that, how there isn’t a Charlie Sheen reality television show on TV by now is mind-boggling. As Sheen would say, that would be “epic.” Sheen also opened up a Twitter account and within two days, he had over one million followers. I’m not a Twitter expert, but that has to be a record. Only in America could a cracked-out, alcoholic, out of his mind, alleged abusive ex-husband be the most popular and beloved person in the country. Now that's "winning."

* Christina Aguilera, who is quickly becoming the female version of Charlie Sheen, was arrested Tuesday morning for public intoxication. This arrest comes about three weeks too late as she should have been escorted out of Cowboys Stadium in cuffs following her butchered attempt at singing the National Anthem prior to the Super Bowl. Later in the week, it was announced she was going to be a “a judge and mentor” on The Voice, which is NBC’s upcoming deliberate rip-off show of American Idol. Only in America can a washed-up pop star who has hit rock bottom score a “mentoring role” on what is sure to come the next mindless and annoying top watched television show tuned in by millions of buffoons.

* By tomorrow afternoon, I’ll have a physical copy of Lupe Fiasco’s LASERS in my hand, which officially hits stores on Tuesday. As I’ve wrote about for literally years on this blog, I’ve been waiting for this release for three years. The album was completed nearly two years ago but Universal Records originally refused to release it due to what they considered an album lacking of mainstream singles. The record company finally decided to release it following a pretty big internet petition as well as a protest by Lupe Fiasco’s fans outside the record label’s building. To say I’m excited about this purchase would be a monumental understatement as I believe Lupe Fiasco is one of the top three rappers out there today, and has been for the past five years. This will be Lupe Fiasco’s first release since The Cool, which came out in 2007.

I do have some reservations however as Lupe admitted on Monday to Complex Magazine that he both loves and hates his latest album. He said in order to get the album released, he had to make compromises with the label - ones that he didn’t want to make and felt forced to. The whole entire interview with Complex is a great read whether you’re a fan of Lupe, rap or music in general because Lupe discusses what artists/bands have to go through with major labels and how much they have to give in or sacrifice to make labels happy and in turn, how unhappy it makes artists who strive to create something from within.

Later in the week, he told the Chicago Tribune this: “I was literally told (by the record label) for (the album’s first single) ‘The Show Goes On’ that I shouldn’t rap too deep and I shouldn’t be too lyrical. (They said) It just needs to be something easy on the eyes. It was like a record company telling Picasso that we don’t need these abstract interpretations of life, where people have to sit down and look at it and break it down. It was better to paint the Upper West Side lady and her poodle so everyone could look at it right away and understand what was going on. I felt like I was painting poodles.” In Short, there’s nothing like looking forward to an album for three years, then a week before its release, the artist who created it says he hates it.

* Manchester Orchestra released “Simple Math” on Monday. It’s the first single off their upcoming record of the same name. First reaction: Starts off pretty nice but is too long to be a single coming in at over five minutes long. I really like the verses and the bridge but don’t care much for the chorus. Upon first listen, wasn’t blown away by it and I’ve come to expect to be blown away by Manchester Orchestra. So, I guess I’m a bit disappointed but I’m sure it’ll grow on me. You can hear it below.



* Blue Valentine, starring Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams, will be released on DVD May 10. Still trying to figure out how many copies I’ll purchase.

* I’m posting this blog today because I’m off on Friday. This weekend, I’ll be in Canada flushing my money down the drain in casinos and hosting hotel parties with Charlie Sheen. Wish me luck!

K. Bye.

By Nick Carrabine
NCarrabine@News-Herald.com